when u haven’t masturbated in ages and


damn imma stop masturbating for a while so i can grow cannons on my back and launch torrents of water at people

(Source: telapathetic)

207,454 notes


shoutout to my mutuals that I don’t really talk to y’all still cool

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does anyone else find it awkward emailing teachers like are you supposed to say hey, or hi or use their name or say love from at the end?

146,144 notes

met a guy at leeds
he moved into my tent on the first night, we hit it off, cuddled, kissed, fucked, got to know each other, came pretty close
when he left, he left, no contact despite saying we’d keep in touch.. i am a fucking idiot because i get way too attached to people and i have his tshirt and i’m lay here with it and it smells like him

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english is not my first language and all my life i thought brussel sprouts was the name of some celebrity

everyone is always like “i hate brussel sprouts” and all this time i was here thinking what the fuck did that poor guy do

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theres only 4 months left of this year and if that doesnt freak you out then youre lying

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  • person: but what if your parents had aborted YOU
  • me: well okay for starters i wouldn't have been forced to hear that stupid ass comment you just made
  • 228,379 notes




    its almost midnight you know what that means..

    That it’s almost midnight


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